In a move that had many long time Mac users impaling themselves with pieces of wrought iron, Microsoft announced the newest addition to their product line today: Windows Infinity.

As predicted by industry pundits mere moments after the announcement, Windows Infinity incorporates technology recently acquired in the acquisition of Bungie Software to achieve new heights in user interface obfustication. From the PR:

REDMOND, WA. - Microsoft (Nasdaq: MSFT) proudly announces Windows Infinity, the future in graphical interfaces for users of Windows compatible systems. In the tradition of Windows Explorer, Windows Infinity brings the experience of file and process management one step closer to the true computer experience.

Featuring state of the art graphics, Windows Infinity places the user directly in their operating system, where they can manage files using an intuitive, ground breaking 3D interface. Armed with an array of weapons, they can also terminate processes that not only fight back, but will sometimes fight alongside the user!

Boasting as many as seven new enemies, including the BSOD (Big S'pht of Death), Windows Infinity will be exploding onto desktops everyone... no release dates yet, though.

In related news, the valiant codewarriors responsible for the Aleph One process manager appear to have vanished off the face of the earth...