In a move that can be summed up in only six letters, OMGWTF, Microsoft this morning announced that Halo will in fact be an XBox only launch title! The PR was very short and two the point:

REDMOND, WA. - Haaa, suckers!

The move apparently comes after an enormous hellrift opened below the offices of the now resettled Bungie Studios. A contractor sent to assess the damage reported "a terrible stench of brimstone and misery, the shrieking of a billion damned souls as they escape into the firestained night!", which he followed with lots of incoherent screaming.

On the scene, some inside sources report an "evil, red glow" emanating from the eyes of Bungie's developers, while another reported that her child had been stolen and eaten by an as of yet unidentified employee! Calls to Microsoft headquarters to confirm these reports have been met with maniacal laughter and attempted phone traces... we suspect they're onto us, and will be relocating soon. God be with you.