When I played through Halo 3, all I got was a bitter taste in my mouth from sucking on my neighbors lemons, who forced me to allow him to play with me. Halo 3 is crap, I am trading it in for Pokemon Snap, aka the World's Greatest Game. I'll have none of this [b]unrealistic gameplay burning my eyes any longer,[/b] and I'm here to save you before it's too late.
First of all, Halo contains more factual errors than any other game in the world. Here are some:
-Master Chief's girlfriend, Cortana, is a hologram. If we were all like Master Chief the world would die because you can't have sex with lights and metal.
-In real life, to do destroy a ring you need to throw it into the Fires of Mount doom. In Halo, you do not.
-Bungie has led us to believe that grunts are dogs with jet packs, yet I see no evidence of this in real life. I tried to dress up my dog like a grunt and it didn't work. So I broke it's legs, and it still didn't work. Nice going Bungie, you killed my dog.
-Apes don't dress up like the Brute Cheiftains. Just doesn't happen. I don't know what Bungie was thinking, but in reality, we can't ACTUALLY make apes dress up and shoot lasers.
-The Mjolnir armor has a small crotch. If I take myself as an example, being 5"9 and 10" long, I'd need a bigger crotch. Master Chief is 4 meters tall and looks like he has about 4" of man. This is not realistic, amirite ladies?
-Spike Grenades don't stick to walls, or people. I sticky taped knives to bottle and threw it at my sister. When it hit her it just fell down and broke. As if it would actually stick.
-You can't flip vehicles without a crane. I drove my Dad's new 2007 Chevy Camaro into a skate park and managed to flip it. Once it was over, nothing could get it to flip. In Halo, you can do it with the flick of your wrist.
-In Halo, the birds have shields. I threw a stone at my neighbor's parrot. It didn't have a shield, so it died. More dreaded lies form Bungie.
-My Dad said that if we charged a woman with flying a ship, that she would crash it. **Edit: Miranda Keyes crashed and destroyed the first ship, and didn't live long enough to destroy the other. Criticism withdrawn.
I'm not all criticism either. Here are some ways that would make Halo as good as Pokemon Snap[/b]:
-'Halo' should be a giant Pokemon.
[b]What Pokemon Snap has that Halo doesn't but should have[/b]:
-Pokemon
-Lots of balls
-A magic flute
[b]What Pokemon Snap hasn't got that Halo does but shouldn't have[/b]:
-Absence of Pokemon
-The Arbiter
-Absence of Pokemon
-Guns
[b]Discuss.[/b]